Black Dog

The Black Dog is Barking at the Gate

Hi folks, been a minute. Here’s a track to make up for it on YouTube. It’s very good. Everyone must listen.

So, the past two weeks at least I’ve not been at optimum performance. With work, with self care. You know… all those things that happen when the black dog jumps the fence.

Of course I’ve been over-thinking the whole thing and trying to apportion blame – the primary question is the same every time: why am I having feels? The answer is not as simple as I’m about to bucher the juicy bits, but…

  1. I missed three days of my meds after I dropped my pill box in the loo. I can’t blame myself for this, but I do anyway because I’m a loser and now know why no one askes me to hold their beer.
  2. Things with work resembled an X5 on an off-road track. Fucken useless. The complexity and beurocracy that compliance and various other tomfoolery can really kill a project’s energy when you face wall after wall befere even starting the actual work. I blame Anonomous from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500, United States who called in from his hatecation.
  3. Releated to 2: nothing grates my tits more than when people aren’t as pumped as I am for things. Share a moment to fuel my hypomania – I promise I refilled my meds and it’ll I will be norms again soon. Until then: jam it the fuck out – we’re doing good works.
  4. Related to 3: LET’S DO SOMETHING TANGIBLE AND PROVE THAT WORK IS NOT FOR WORK’S SAKE. WHAT WE DO IS IMPORTANT. AND VALUABLE. AND AND AND.
  5. Unrelated to 2., 3. or 4.: the Ukraine Russia issue is harrowing. I’m taking it very personally as an upstanding citizen of the free world when I have a moment to think in the quiet that rolling blackouts provide.
  6. Related to 2., 3., and 5.: See 4. Or alternatively, I mean if the world is sitting around pissing into the wind about this war perhaps we can be proud that our flow is still consistant: uncommitted to making Earth a worthwhile place to live for the next generation.
  7. We’re done pissing now, and ask one another: “where are the voices of tomorrow?”. Perhaps Karen forgot to fax the memo. Millennials be like:”Oi! Doris! Where the salad?“
  8. The dog is lost. Probably moved to Africa where it’s safe.
  9. I have the fucken dog. But I’ve learned the black dog is still a best friend to someone. We should learn from that and be something to someone in a crisis. I’ll have a few cans of dog food for the next time she visits. The dog I mean, not Liz Truss. I heard she’s vegan.

So, to answer my question: who’s to blame? Humans. Life. And the fuckwittery of boomers.

And so we find ourselves on the final slide of this PowerPoint presentation: “Lessons Learned” –

  1. Fuck all.
  2. James needs to accept the things he cannot change.
  3. The things he can change he should. Like putting one foot on the grass every day.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

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